Shoppin' Gabbin' Drivin' and Laughin'

Hello my friends!

There is something about a pair of hanging ice-skates that just screams Christmas to me. I grew up in Texas and remember wearing a pair of shorts, not ice-skates one Christmas and the only ice that I saw that year was in my mother's ice tea she was drinking as she basted the Christmas ham. I didn't wear a pair of ice-skates until I was almost 43 years old...I always wanted to learn to skate and finally one brave soul took mercy on me and tried to teach me. While I am sure I looked liked a middle-aged toddler taking her first steps; in my mind, was gliding gracefully over the ice. When you have a creative mind, you can do that sort of thing...pretend you are doing one thing when in fact you are not. It's wonderful! However, in 25 years they will call it dementia. But let's stick with the present and leave the future to take care of itself, shall we?

I saw this pair hanging in the Miss Frenchie's show in Carol's booth, Raised in Cotton. I know I promised in my last post that I would show you a New Years shoot that I did two years ago that I felt my new readers would enjoy (along with some photos that my long-devoted readers have never seen), but I promise that post is coming soon. Instead, I had a quick trip to Kansas City with my good friend, Debbie (from St. Louis) that I thought I would share with you instead....you know how I like to share my travel adventures with you.

Debbie always wanted to go to the Miss Frenchie's show in KS City and never got a chance to see me as a vendor there. So since I wasn't doing the show this Christmas, she asked if I wanted to go with her and do some antique hunting in KS City as well. Besides that, her neighbor (and my friend as well), Renee, was going to be in KS City with her sister and how fun it would be if we all could meet up at the show. So, I am all for a quick trip and we agreed we could do all this in a day.

Now, let me explain the geography a bit in case you haven't driven this part of the country. St. Louis is a solid four-hour drive to KS City. Debbie and I are wanting to drive there, shop around town, go to the infamous Curious Sofa, eat some lunch, and go to an antique mall. Then I want to take some photos of the Miss Frenchie's show, then we want shop the show when it opens at 5PM, visit with friends, and then drive home after the show...another four-hour drive. What are we? Twenty? No, we are just two giddy middle-aged (okay, maybe we are beyond middle age, but who is counting), friends who will yak non-stop for four hours, drink gas station coffee, eat crispy creme doughnuts and get lost once we arrive in town, but find the best time while being lost.

Our morning starts out early at 6AM where Debbie picks me at my home and we take off. She is the driver and I am the lucky passenger. We talk non-stop (hard to believe, I know) and cover all topics imaginable in a four-hour drive that two women could cover: men, food, weight, decorating, family, shopping, food, vacations, sex, health, aches, pains, food, fabric, getting old, buttons, linen, food, how we must go to Paris together, food, how we must go antiquing in Belgium together, food, getting a turkey neck (what is that all about?), food, food....did I say we talked about food? Getting up so early and so much talking can create a huge hunger pang. So we stop at a big truck stop for breakfast. It is one of those cool, old vintage eateries with the old booths complete with the old men drinking coffee and smoking. We are the only women when we arrive and we are starving and yakking. A big plate of pancakes and several cups of coffee later (and a box of fudge to go), we are on our way again.

As we approach KS City, I whip out my Garmon (GPS system) and I have saved Curious Sofa's address from a long ago visit and we decide we are going to go there first. Soon, we discover that we are no where near the right location....we are at the old location. I still had the old address in my Garmon which led us downtown...but no matter. We found a fantastic architectural salvage store that was calling our name. Below are some photos that I took. The lighting selection is fantastic. The location is on the corner of Southwest and Broadway. 2045 Broadway is the address.

I just loved this wall of sconces. This is just one wall of many!

Debbie is in light heaven and appears to be gasping for air as she clutches her chest after each "OMG! Elizabeth, get over here and look at this one!" :-)

The above photo looks upside down, but the chandeliers make you look twice to see that it isn't. This photo doesn't do the lighting justice. It was such a pretty room.

I have a thing for "piles" of stuff. Whether it is door knobs, hardware, fabric, thread, your name it. If there is a pile of it, I will usually think it looks cool. Junk, trash, crap....it can all be cool...however, being a Texan, a "pile of crap" has a whole different meaning that isn't so cool.

We then discover that Curious Sofa is not that far after all and we head over there. If you ever get a chance to visit Debbie Dusenberry's store, Curious Sofa, you must! But, you should also know that the little "strip mall" (which isn't really a strip mall at all, but rather a beautiful little "village" of stores) is easy to miss if you aren't paying attention...so keep an eye out for the busy intersection of streets that surround the area. Below are a few photos that I took while on my visit. Debbie Dusenberry (from here on out, I will call her Deb to avoid confusion with my St. Louis friend, Debbie) was not in, but busy setting up at Miss Frenchies.

Only Deb could roll out the red carpet so well....her store never disappoints!

Simple ornaments always quietly say "Christmas" and that never grows old.

Is this fantastic or what? Love the crochet balls hanging off the chandelier.

I love bedding...and this little setup is so pleasing to the eye that it took all my will not to crawl in it for a nap. Don't you just love the snowy light above and the tree behind it? The colors are so soothing and yet rich at the same moment.

Now is this a kicker or what? I was walking through the store snapping my photos while my friend was shopping away and I come across this vase (above). Upon closer inspection (below) I see that Deb has taken sweater parts and covered her urns! Now I know what to do with all those old sweaters - cut off the arms and stick urns in them. I am dressing mine up! I later met with Deb at the show and we laughed how we could take old tube socks and make beer cozies or a wine gift bags. But what a brilliant idea, with the vase, don't you think?

After shopping Curious Sofa, I then ask Debbie if she would like to squeeze in some time to go to an antique mall before we head out to Miss Frenchies...of course she isn't going to pass this up. But it has been hours since we had our pancakes and as we drive towards the mall, we pass the Salty Eguana and decide that Mexican food would do the trick. After a quick lunch we head to the Mission Road Antique Mall, which is very deceiving. It looks normal on the outside, but inside, it is a friggin maze. Hallways that turn this way and that are everywhere that lead to no where and in circles. Debbie and I were inside, I swear, not more than five minutes, and I lost her. I mean, she literally disappeared. I came across a booth that had such great stuff that I thought she would love and I turned around and she was gone. So I called out her name, and no answer. I walked down several hallways, and again called out her name...no answer. I mean, how fast can someone get away? And the mall was quiet, surely she could hear me...An employee was looking at me as I raised my voice and sort of called out, "Debbbiieeee!!!" I am not joking, I really did that, my hand cupped to my mouth and everything...the employee gave me "the look" and then she told me they had an electronic intercom system at the front desk. I know, I know, but all because I want to live an elegant life, doesn't always mean I am elegant...I shouldn't admit that now that I see it in print. Oh well. But seriously, I have never seen anyone disappear so fast in my life. Right at that moment, I get a text from my friend Gretchen, who is doing her jewelry show back in St. Louis. She texts me: "What have you found? Anything good yet?" So I text her back, "I lost Debbie in the antique mall..."

Several minutes later, I call Debbie on my cell phone, and we are on two different floors and we finally find each other. We laugh and then we put out heads together as I snap a photo on my camera and send our photo back to Gretchen with the words: "I found something great!" At that moment, the employee walks past us and tells me she is glad we found each other, and gives me a smile as well as "the look." Debbie leaves with a fabulous vintage cream Christmas tree in an urn that we both fell in love with. I told her I want to use for a photo shoot after the holidays...she bought it for only $28! I didn't buy anything, but I did see a few goodies I may go back and get on my next visit if they are still available.

We are now heading to Miss Frenchies and get there early so I can take photos before it gets too crowded. The vendors are pretty much set up and ready, but look pooped and I know exactly how they feel. Having done this show, I know all too well the amount of work that goes into it and for that reason, I passed this show. Late last spring my health was "interrupted" once again and not knowing exactly what to expect, I notified Deb of Curious Sofa to let her know to make plans for another vendor. I wanted to give her plenty of notice. It was a difficult decision, as I love the create my space and participate in such a lovely show, but I didn't want to have to pull out at the last moment and put Deb in a spot of having to fill my space. However, it was great to be able to attend and relax and visit with the vendors and see all the beautiful merchandise that I never had a chance to as a vendor.

Below are some photos of the fun event and if you ever get the chance to attend, you should. Everyone has a great time and it is an exciting way to jumpstart your holiday shopping. Enjoy the photos:

Willow's Nest had the most beautiful tree - little vintage coin purses clipped to the tree with small roses in side - so lovely!

Karla's Cottage always has the best "little stuff" that anyone would want to dig around for. The prices are great and the goodies are even better!

Carol with Raised in Cotton and Willow's Nest were "neighbors" and their styles went together so well. It was soothing, and yet so lively. I loved the looks and the creativity of the two being next to each other.

Above is my friend Renee (right) from St. Louis and her sister Wendy, from Wisconsin. They met us at the show and I met Wendy only once before. I could have listened to her all night long. Renee is so vibrant and fun beyond belief and her sister is the same WITH the Wisconsin accent which is hilarious! If you have ever seen the movie, Fargo, then you have just heard Wendy. (By the way, I love the movie's character, Marge. She is one of my favorite characters ever written.) I just kept laughing and I finally had to answer her back in her "lingo." I know I must have been so rude, but she was just a doll. Our conversation went something like this with a VERY heavy northern (think Fargo) accent, lots of smiling expressions and gestures:

Wendy: Ah!! Now! It is so gud to see ya, Elizabeth!!

Me: Laughing

Wendy: I follow yor blog all the time, don't cha know!

Me: Laughing

Wendy: Oh! The way ya write! Oh.... Now! I'm serious now....

Me: (trying to do an accent) You are, are you? Well now... You don't say?!

Wendy: Ah! Yes! I do! Don't cha know I read cha all the time! All the time, mind cha!

Me: Laughing (can't stop)

And so it went. I just loved listening to her. She was the sweetest and most sincere person I've ever met. What I really, really found hilarious is that later, when I was alone with Renee, I told Renee how much I loved her sister and Renee said that she loved her as well, but it is hard to get a word in to which I really BURST out laughing because if you have had the privilege of knowing Renee, you will definitely know that is the kettle calling the pot black, don't you know! :-) Sisters!

They are the best because we blame them when it is convenient and we take credit when we shouldn't and they never let us get away with either.

I should know - I have one.

It was nice to see that other shoppers were as busy as I was!

Look what I scored! (Below) I bought this fab sink from Curious Sofa's booth. It is just tiny enough for me to squeeze in the corner of our tiny bathroom next to our claw foot tub to hold all our soaps and sponges. I love the shaving mug - which is so fitting for a barber husband!

Love this giant ball of string (don't know why, I just do), and I love the simplicity of the little tree under the cloche. Sometimes, we just love what we love and that is all there is to it.

Beautiful felted pins (above) created by Julie Reed that my photo does not come close to doing them justice. And what is a show without the ever-so-sought baby head? Creepy, funny, however you view it, a show isn't a show without at least one.

Deb of Curious Sofa is busy checking out customers, which she does all night long. The show was busy and the shoppers kept coming. No sign of the recession in this barn....

I ran into many friends, customers, readers and other dealers in the biz. It was so nice to see everyone. I met, Jan, one of Leola's owners (below) and I hope she forgives me if I got her name wrong. I am horrible at remembering names, but in my defense, there are several dealers at Leola's (Springfield, MO) which is a wonderful shop that is worth a stop if you are in the area.

Deb of Curious Sofa managed to stop for a sec to snap a pic, but she was back to her customers right after this photo. As always, she works hard, and does a great job.

Carol of Raised in Cotton, is the woman of my kindred spirit. I feel as though I have known her my entire life. She and I were next to each other at the last show. Her stuff is great and her sense of style is very creative, fun and elegant all at once. If I lived in KS City, I would be glued to her side (and probably have her glitter on me).

And here is my lovely Debbie who did all the driving. She was my Louise and I was her Thelma...except we had a better ending. We had such a fun day (and night). We managed to get back to my home by midnight. She drove safely (she avoided all cliffs), we talked about all the treasures we found, how there wasn't enough time and how we must "do" Paris, Belgium, or London.... Or maybe we can just meet up next week for an estate sale...and pretend we are in Paris. I don't speak French, but we could eat chic croissants while waiting in line for the sale to open. And if it is cold, we could even wear chic berets.

Or better yet, we could just wear our chic berets and eat our chic croissants in a warm, chic cafe and get out our datebooks and start planning our trip abroad for some serious flea-marketing! Who knows? Plenty of fun plans have been made while munching on a croissant and looking chic in a beret.

Beret, no beret. Flea-marketing awaits which means treasures to be found and I considered myself one keen explorer. While in Curious Sofa, I caught up with my friend Debbie, who was shopping and after I snapped some pics I went over to her and she was looking for some things for her kitchen. I knew her style and so I looked down, under a table, on a shelf and I pointed and said that a basket under there would be perfect for her kitchen. She bent down and looked and gasped and asked me how in the world did I see it and find it so quickly? I held up my arm and made a muscle and told l her I am "one keen explorer." She loved the basket and bought it.

And I once again proved my hunting skills - Ta Da! :-)

And I wasn't even wearing a beret.

I hope you enjoy my little visit to Miss Frenchies - please visit the site to see all the vendors and their websites. There are many more worth visiting. May these next few weeks of shopping be a fun hunting expedition rather than a chore. For it is the laughter and friendship that is created along the way that is the true gift that lasts. Take a friend with you and laugh, eat, shop, and eat some more. (The diets start in January anyway, so who are we kidding?)

Thank you for taking time out of your very busy day to visit with me...I hope I made you laugh a little and if I did, then go get a piece of fudge and call a friend and go shopping. Really, go do it. Stop reading and call her....go call...she is waiting... :-)

From my house to your house

Elizabeth

Free-lancing Doesn't Mean Working for Free...

Hello!

I hope this posting finds you all well. I have been receiving emails and questions regarding my column, Ta Da! in Romantic Homes magazine, or rather, my lack of articles for my column, and I wasn't sure how to broach the subject until this timely letter to the editor appeared in the current issue of Romantic Home's Jan 2010 issue. A reader wrote stating that she visited the St. Louis area, looking for my store and was disappointed to find that I had closed it and wanted to know how to get in touch with me. (Thank you Roseanne Lange of Eldon, MO for the lovely letter to the editor.) The editors of the magazine were kind of enough to print the letter as well as my blog address for the readers to find me so they can keep up with my adventures. The editors also mentioned that I have an upcoming article in a future issue...

...which leads me to the reason of this posting. I have always tried to be open and honest with you with all my writings whether it was with a design project, Shop Talk, a fashion foible, or a personal issue I was experiencing - divorce, marriage, car wrecks, you name it, I always tried to be true. So in keeping with my mode of operation, I will explain how it came to be that I am no longer a contributing editor for Romantic Homes.

Jan 2010 Issue

For those of you who may not be familiar with the publishing world, let me explain that just about any Christmas article you may be reading in any current magazine today was photographed and written at least six to seven months ago, but even more likely it was written a year ago. Articles, especially seasonal ones, are usually completed six months to a year in advance for publication. So, last summer the editor of Romantic Homes contacted me wanting me to come up with a list of suggested features and ideas for my next year's (2010) articles for my column, Ta Da!.

I was very excited (and flattered) to be asked again to write for them another year. The first issue I appeared in was their November 2005 issue. Geesh!  I can't believe it has been fours years that I have been working with them in one capacity or another. I so enjoy the creative process of creating a feature. It is such a joy to be given such creative license to come up with a list of story ideas and basically just go out and do them...

But that is the problem. I just don't "just go out and do them..."  Doing a feature is a lot of work and a lot of time. Over the years of writing for RH, my average feature is anywhere from 6 to 12 pages. That is a huge article by industry standards and it takes a lot of work to fill those pages. Also, for those of you who aren't part of the publishing world, there are several different jobs in creating a feature in the industry that are usually held by different professionals in which I combined into one. Usually there is a person who is paid to scout out a story, then a photographer is paid, and then a stylist is on the shoot to help the photographer, then a writer is given some pics so she can formulate the story and call up the designer or home owner to ask questions to complete the story. Those four positions (scouting, stylist, photographer, writer) were all done by me in addition to my creating the rooms themselves (designer) and coming up with the idea in the first place. Please don't misunderstand me, I absolutely love the creative process, and I do mean that very much. But...

...I was going to do a post for my blog sometime down the road about my photo shoots and what is done behind the scenes, and I was saving these photos for that article, but I will share some with you now to better explain you what goes into a shoot. This particular shoot (see below) took three days. I actually spent the night at the home owner's home because it was over an hour drive and the work day was so long. Below are some photos of a shoot that I will share with you in the next posting. It was an article I did last year that I think is worth repeating for new readers about taking a tiny space and making it special for New Years. I will include a lot of photos that weren't in the magazine and also some tips that weren't included as well. Below are some photos to just give you an idea of the set up that is involved in a photo shoot:

I love Randy's old truck - everyone needs an old truck that you can count on to haul your goodies. Plus, don't you just love the color? But, I digress..as you can see by the weather and sky...it isn't no where near winter or looking like it will snow. But yet, this is a shoot for Christmas and New Years. The truck is loaded with props that I gathered, found, shopped, and loaded up and now have to unload and get into the home without breaking them or scratching the walls in the process.

All this mess is just props, materials, and stuff to get the room ready for the shoot. All the stuff you see below are things I brought in. Believe it or not, it is all used. It takes a lot of planning to get it done right and not have to drive back an hour to Target to get more candles or napkins or whatever you need. Once you are out in the country, you don't have time to go back.

Below are some French chairs that I own that I brought in to "re-do" on the spot with some burlap. I spent the evening putting burlap over the upholstery for the shoot. As you can see by the window, it is late into the evening.

This is a little table that I am fixing up for two. The above is when I just started and below is the finished product with all the goodies. Just getting it all set out took a day. Now I have to shoot it and I use only natural light, so my daylight is running out and I must rush.

Above and below is the mantel before and after. It takes a lot of time to tie up wire and books and place out a dozen or so clocks and candles...more detail photos on my next posting...and yes, that is my faux finishing technique on the wall... more on that in my next posting :-)

I could show you a lot more "in the process" photos, but you get the idea. What a lot of people don't realize is the stuff you don't see. Like hauling in the tool box, the ladders, the material, staple gun, wire, and all the shopping I did at all the stores to get just the right stuff I needed for the story. Then I had to go through my inventory for antiques or go to antique malls or flea-markets to find the perfect whatever to make the story really interesting or special for my readers. Once I find all those goodies (and it can take days), buy them, and load them in the truck. I now get to drive over an hour and unload them all again. As I work, I am formulating the story in my head, even though I have a good idea about it already, I am writing it in my head as I work into the night.

Once the "set" is done, I now must shoot it and style it. I must make sure that no camera bag is left in the background (I do it all the time!!) and all extension cords are hidden and price tags are taken off. That is why having a stylist is so nice to have on a shoot. I need to make sure all my batteries are charged and I have both my tripods. I must wipe off all the glass because dust is a pain to photo shop out and to make sure my reflection of myself behind the camera isn't in the window, mirror, shiny dish, or glass. I must check and recheck all the photos to make sure all is well because once I tear down the set, and I leave, that is it. And I am on a deadline, no second chances. I go about and probably shoot about 350 photos. Wide shots, and detail shots. My back is aching from a long night and from bending over so much with the camera. I squat on my knees a lot because I am determined to get certain angles. I work quickly with the natural light....the sun is now setting.

I then pack up the props, load the truck, put the house back in order, and head home, unpack the truck and down load all 350 photos onto my computer. I crop, correct and work on them until they are ready to download to a disk. This can take an entire day or even two. I then ship it off to RH and write my story and edit it many times before I email the story out to them as well. So there you have it. As you can see, I really just don't "go out and just do" my photo shoots. I put a lot of thought, care and love into them and I always keep the reader in mind and what I think you would want to know and see in an article. I don't have control over what actually goes into the magazine, but I always put the readers first when it comes to my writing articles. 

Below is the end result that landed in the Romantic Homes January 2008 Issue:

So, back to my original reason for writing this post. When the editor asked me to come up with a list of story ideas for next year's issues, while excited, I knew I could no longer continue to do all the work it requires at the pay rate I was receiving. After all the features I have produced over the years, I had never asked for a raise and I really had to come to terms with how much I valued my time, effort and experience. So, with great thought, and with a heavy heart, I politely (and gratefully) expressed my gratitude to the RH editor for the opportunity to write and produce for them, and I expressed my desire to continue to do so, but I could not continue without a raise. Unfortunately, RH stated they did not have the budget and that was that. I sort of felt like not much consideration was given in trying find other budget options in keeping me on board, but business is business and magazines are closing up left and right, so I shouldn't take it personal.

I offered the option of my writing fewer articles to meet their budget requirements, but my offer has not been taken. I knew in my heart that when I wrote my email requesting a rate increase, I was basically writing my resignation. If a raise had not been offered to me by now, after all the articles I have produced, I knew that realistically, a raise would not be coming my way and that my email would be my resignation in a way. I was hoping otherwise, but unfortunately I was right. See, it isn't always good to be right.  :-)

Basically, I had to ask myself some hard questions. The same tough questions I ask my readers that read my Shop Talk blog. I had to ask myself how much do I value my talent? I can only be taken advantage of (or feel as though) if I allow it. And even though I was passionate about those photo shoots and my producing them, at what point do I decide that my passion is worth more to me than just basically praise? When do I decide that I have "paid my dues" and now I am due for some real pay? Obviously my passion was worth something to the RH editors and publishers...at least worthy enough to print on paper and distribute. But if I don't value myself, or value my experience, or what I bring to the table, then who will? I had to remind myself it was the magazine who called me, not the other way around. But sometimes it is hard to feel valuable when I feel like I am only "fabulous" when I am "free." 

I know there are so many others out there who would love to be in my shoes and do what I do with the magazine...I would love to be in my shoes too (as long as they match....see prior posting). But my shoes weren't feeling so good this last year, having worked so hard to produce articles like the New Year's Eve article or my Kitchen make-over and not be fairly compensated within the publishing standards....my shoes felt pretty tight...they just weren't feeling good anymore, even with a lot of praise about my work. But it is my fault if I don't speak up, because if I don't, then I can't complain. So I spoke up. And I didn't get the answer I hoped for. But as much as I will miss writing my features, and even with some doubts in wondering if I did the right thing, I know in my heart I did do the right thing because you know, my shoes are feeling a little better already. They ain't so darn uncomfortable because I know I will go further without the hindrance of uncomfortable shoes holding me back. You know how after walking all day in really uncomfortable shoes you begin to slow your pace and after a while your gait is even off a bit? That can happen professionally when one side of the equation is feeling shorted - the gait is off - and that doesn't feel good. With better fitting shoes, the pace is better, the stride is cleaner, and the gait is even, as it should be. 

I offered RH my services should they need special feature and they were more than happy to keep that option open, which I appreciate. I have a feature coming out in the future, not sure which month. I believe it will be my bathroom from my apartment from over my store which features a baptismal font as a sink. That will be my last feature for them, unless they decide they want to hire me again for another story. I am so happy to have had the experience and opportunity to have worked with them. I learned a lot and challenged myself. The editors gave me a lot of freedom with my articles and they were always so excited when they received my disk of photos. Magazines are very expensive to produce and budgets are slashed. And I, like millions of others in America, can now say that the recession has now hit home with me. Until now, I have been very lucky and have not been too affected by it. 

In the words of the late Paul Harvey, "Now you know the rest of the story."  Should you feel the need to politely let the editor know how much you will miss my articles, feel free to let her know that you will miss my Ta Da! column and RH should reconsider their budget!  :-) But seriously, please know that I am very grateful for the experience I received and I would welcome the opportunity to work with them again should it arise. They are a quality magazine that I was proud to be a part of for four years.

So, I am officially a free-agent...a free-lance writer...there seems to be a lot of "free" in those titles. Maybe that is the problem? How about the terms "Money-seeking Agent" or "Cash-Advance Writer"?  I think those terms better define the reality of the situation anyway. :-) Any editors out there needing a feature writer? I produce great work for great pay....that seems fair, now doesn't it?

I hope by sharing my experiences with you it helps shed some light and answer some questions. I love to style, write, design and so on...but I think I paid my dues and it is time to earn a real living in the publishing world. So many other people earn a good living at it, why not me as well? And that is what you can ask yourself when you are feeling like your talent or passion is "just a hobby" or you feel like you are always "doing favors" but not getting paid for your talent. If someone is asking you for something...then you have something of worth. And if you don't put a price on it, then they will. And sometimes, just to get a foot in the door, we may have to pay our dues. But once both feet are firmly inside, and we have proven ourselves, unless we step out and speak up, then the price we pay will be much bigger than we bargained for: our sense of self-worth. And that, my dear readers, is priceless. 

I will close with these quotes that I feel sum it all up nicely:

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." Mark Twain

"I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." Eleanor Roosevelt

And my favorite:

"Always remember to stand up for yourself because nobody will if you don't." Alfred Maxson 

(My late loving father said that to me when I was only 10 years old when he tucked me into bed one night after I got into an argument with my mother. He wanted me to apologize to her, but said he was proud of me for standing up to her for what I believed in...I just needed to do it more respectfully...but he wanted me to remember to always stand up for myself. I will never forget that.)

From my house to your house,

Elizabeth

Looking Good Ain't So Pretty

Hello!

Well, just in case you are feeling old, fat, or like your are losing it, I got a story for you that will either make you feel like you are not alone, or you will be thinking, well at least I'm not that bad!

It all started out so innocently and yet so badly....

In my last posting I was telling you about my Big Ass Button Trip (aka NYC) and how I found this fabulous dress - I mean couture chiffon with black roses (see above). Well, I found a chance to wear it recently on a beautiful fall day. I had loads of errands to do, a computer class to take and I was meeting some girlfriends for lunch. I put on said couture, black tights, boots, vintage 1950's short sweater that belonged to my mother and the brooch that I also bought on my trip.

I was stylin!

I was in a rush (I am always running late) so I grab my computer and head out for my class - I am trying to learn some new skills as I build my new website and I meet my teacher in a one on one class and a bunch of other students and while a zillion customers mill around the store. I then run to the bank and a few other errands and then I meet my girlfriends, Debbie and Gretchen for lunch. As I enter the lunch place, my girlfriends are already there and as I walk in they squeal with delight and ask me to twirl for them to see the dress. They ooh and aaah over the black roses....it seems no matter who old we women get, we still like to play dress up and we still squeal. It makes me feel young though when that happens because it is all so sincere. My friend comments on the brooch and sweater and then we sit and gab and gab and finally go the counter to order. (I order dessert first and bring back a big piece of cake with three forks...gotta try the cake while we wait for our lunch...it will be a long gabbing session, must have strength!) We all catch up on what's what and the place is getting crowded but we just gab, laugh (howl actually) and hours later, we must depart.

My two friends are heading to flower row (a cool place here in St. Louis to get wholesale flowers and floral supplies) and I am headed over another friend's home, Karen for a visit. I drive to Karen's home and as I walk up her sidewalk to her glass door, she is waiting for me and she is already oohhing and aaahhing my dress and says for me to "come in! come in" and as I enter her home, she asks me to take off my little sweater so she can get a look at me and here is how the 30 second conversation goes as I stand there for her to admire my dress:

Me: Don't you just love it? I can't believe I got it for only $40!

Karen (aka Miss Fashion Plate): Oh! It's beautiful!

(I do the mandatory twirl for her..)

Me: I love the color...

Karen: Me too! But why do you have on one black boot and one brown boot?

(My twirls come to an immediate halt needless to say...)

Me: What??!!! (As I glance down at my feet in horror...)

Karen: Yeah...? You have one brown boot on and one black boot..?

Me: What??!!

Karen (now laughing): Don't they feel different? Couldn't you tell how they feel?

Me (now laughing): OMG!

Karen (matter of fact tone): Oh, I see, (she studies my boots closely) they have the same heel....but one is brown and the other is black...you know one is black and the other...

Me: I heard you....man the bad thing is (as I look down at my boots) the bad thing is, is that one boot toe is pointy and the other boot toe is rounded! (And I just give up and laugh with her.)

But in my defense, they had the same leather feel, same heel height, and same squished look. You can judge for yourself....see below.....

(I know...pretty bad, isn't it?)

We both crack up laughing so hard...I mean, I am with Karen 30 seconds max, and she spots it, and I am with Debbie and Gretchen for hours and nothing....so I tell Karen to wait a second, I MUST make a call. I pick up my cell phone and call Gretchen. She and Debbie are still in the car driving. I don't say "hello" I don't say anything when she answers, I just say:

"Do you think you can help out a girlfriend???!!"

I proceed to tell Gretchen what Karen and I discovered and I hear loud gasps over the phone and then I hear Debbie in the background saying that she did later noticed I had two different boots on, but when I came back from the restroom and sat down and we started gabbing all over again, she forgot all about it. I proceed to tell Gretchen about all my morning errands and class and so on (more gasps over the phone) and how I thought I looked so cute....we laughed and laughed and then Gretchen, trying to comfort me, told me about her fashion faux pas just the week before.

She told me that she went all day long wearing two different shoes. They were both black and one shoe had SILVER RIVETS on them and the other shoe was like a loafer! She went all day long and even at one point during the day, she looked down at her loafer and said to herself, oh no! I lost some rivets! I laughed and laughed and felt better. But at the same time, I thinking, what is wrong with us? We are both only 45 years old....what are we going to be like in 20 years?

So, then Karen tells me about a time she was at a public pool (recently) with a friend and they came out of the dressing room and walked all the around the pool finding a spot. They stayed at the pool laying out and Karen has a great figure so she has a two piece on. So they are chatting and talking and Karen goes back into the dressing room (after she walk all the way around the pool again - a very crowded pool at that) and discovers that she had her bottoms on inside out! Her tag was hanging out on the outside on the back and LUCKILY the crotch area, didn't have that white panel - you know what I talking about, it had a brown one that matched her suit, but all the stitching was showing, and it was very obvious. Well she goes back and tells her friend, and her friend said she noticed it but didn't want to say anything because she was from the south and people from the south don't point things out like that. Karen made it very clear that girlfriends do not let other girlfriends parade around a public pool with their suits inside out whether they are from the south, north, east, west, Mars, Venus, or wherever, hahahaha...and I agree!

Fashion faux pas isn't just for women - men are victims too (as we all know too well). Just two days before my boot disaster, I went to bible study with my husband and he put on his new jacket as we were leaving the class and saying our good-byes. Out in the parking lot I noticed a HUGE tag hanging under his arm! I chastised him because I asked him that morning if he got all the tags off (he rarely, if ever, gets all tags off his clothes...he is a walking advertisement) and he told me just a tad sarcastically that of course he got all the tags off and now, here we are, in the middle of a parking lot, with this huge tag swinging in the wind just after he put on his coat in front of the bible study class....oh, I couldn't resist and rolled my eyes in sheer frustration! After my boot incident, I tried very hard to convince him that his hanging coat tag was a much more serious faux pas, but that didn't fly nearly as high as his tag did on that windy day....

But this wearing different colored boot thing has got me really thinking...while I find it really funny (and it was) it does say a lot about human nature in general. Most of us just handle life day by day and do our best to plan for the future. Some years are good years and some years are extremely challenging. But for the most part, all humans want the same thing. To be safe, happy, and to feel accepted. And in striving for those very simple things we can get so caught up in the everyday stuff, and so caught up in our culture and what others are doing, or we start thinking that we need this or that to make us feel safe, happy or accepted when actually we just think we need those things to be happy. We can lose sight of what is really important in life.

Then we one day we wear one brown boot and black boot. All day long.

And at the end of the day, someone points out your one brown and your one black boot and you both have a good laugh. You laugh because most likely, people have been laughing at you all day long and you never even knew it. That's the beauty of it. People laughed, judged, and maybe even commented, and you didn't even care. You still went on being you - the real you. Granted, you didn't know you had on two different color boots, but how great it would be if we could really go through life like that. We could be who we really are, enjoy our friends, life, feel pretty all day, eat cheesecake, and just be who we are and truly not care what anyone else thought, said, or did? Wouldn't that be great? Because in the end, when all is said and done, what we all really want anyway is just to feel safe, happy, and to be accepted.

While I may roll my eyes in exasperation at my husband with his huge tag under his arm, he wasn't about to pass up his chance when we were leaving for church and I came out of the bedroom into the living room, in a nice dress, and yes, wearing boots. He got his car keys, and I was grabbing my purse and just as he was opening the front door, he stopped short and turned and grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back a bit and looked down and "studied" my outfit for a second. Then very officially said, "Good, both boots black...it's safe to go out now..."

I laughed and yes, I felt very safe, happy, and most definitely accepted.

Hopefully you don't have two wear two different color boots, or two completely different shoes, or have a giant tag hanging out or even parade around in public with your swimsuit inside out to feel like it is okay to be you no matter what others or saying or thinking about you. It was a freeing moment though, when I was standing there, looking down at my different colored boots, thinking how clueless I was all day, and yet, I didn't even care...now that is freedom...not stylish mind you....but still freedom.

May your stylish moments truly be stylish and may your moments of freedom be faux pas-free.

Here's to putting your best foot forward in life...and may the other foot match.

From my house to your house,

Elizabeth

P.S.....Okay, I have been getting some great fashion faux pas stories that I had to pass on:

My brother, Bill, is in chemical engineering sales and he finally had a huge appointment with a big-time possible customer that took almost a year and a half to snag. Bill flies out of town to meet this customer and as he waits in the airport for this customer to pick him up, Bill decides to do a "fashion check." Now, when my brother is telling me this story, you have to know that 1. My brother is not into fashion, so when he told me he was checking anything, I was very surprised since dressing up to him usually means wearing a shirt that has buttons. And 2. Bill is not a morning person is this was a very early flight. He has two very small children, a wife, 3 dogs, 1 cat, and for him to dress nicely is a challenge in of itself.

So my brother is sitting in the airport, trying to keep his eyes open (he is not the nervous type at all, very calm) and decides to do this "fashion check." He tells me he feels his collar...good...it is down...tie is straight...jacket lapel is flat....he feels around his waist...yup all belt loops are looped, and yes, he isn't flashing anyone, he is zipped up, and he stands up and yes, his pockets are tucked in, and pats his butt, yes, wallet in place, and looks down the front of his pants, and the creases are still crisp with a crisp line....all the way down to his bright white socks and white running shoes!

He tells me he is wearing this very nice suit with the biggest, clunkiest running shoes he owns...he was in a rush that morning and wasn't thinking and he just now noticed. Never mind he had to take them off to get through security at the airport AND put them on again...never mind he sat on the plane and crossed his legs. Never mind he sat in the airport waiting for his very important customer, and it is only when he is doing this very last minute "check" does he notice....just in time to look up and see his customer approach him.

I gasp and say my usual OMG!!! I ask him what did you do??? He said (so typically calm of him) "What can you do?" He said as the customer approached and they shook hands, the customer looked down at the shoes and Bill just shrugged his shoulders and said, "It was an early flight..." And they went on their way...nothing more! End of story! No frantic phone calls to friends, no rehashing his plight, no photos of shoes and then blogging about it, no gasping...nope that is it.

Men!

Okay, one more short story....I got an email from my friend Gary. He said that once he had his collar up, missed belt loops, and one sock was inside out..all in front of an important meeting with clients...I am starting to feel better and better.... :-)