Apr 13, 2012

Urgent Serenity


Hello!

I hope this posting finds you all well.

I hate that I waited so long to write again, as that was not my plan. But lately, a lot of things have not been "my plan" and although I try to go with the flow, I just haven't been flowing so easily lately.

As exciting as life can be at times for me, I have noticed for quite a while now that something is amiss. 

No, "amiss" isn't the right word, because the word "amiss" means, that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong in my life. But lately, for many months actually, my life has felt ....hmmmm....what is the right word?








I can't think of just one word to describe how I have been feeling for some time now, so I will borrow a phrase of how a good friend of mine is feeling as well: I am feeling of late like a square peg not fitting into a round hole.





And the thing is, I don't really care about fitting into the round hole. In fact, the round hole doesn't even really interest me at this point. I am not even sure I am square shaped...but whatever shape, it ain't fitten'. And that is what is throwing me off a bit, I think. I've never been one to try to fit in a group, but I usually find some joy in going with the flow, so to speak. But for some time now, I just find myself not really going with the flow, nor really wanting to. Sorta feel like bucking the system...




I find myself more and more lately enjoying being on the sidelines, doing my own thing and not really wanting to participate in keeping up with the group. Whatever that "group" may be. 






At first I thought maybe my interest were changing (or evolving), but after giving this some great thought, and time, I realized, that wasn't it. I still enjoy what I do and I still write and photograph, create, and so on.




Then I thought maybe I was feeling like a square peg not fitting in a round hole because of quite a few big disappointments in my life lately and some major hurts. But that wasn't it. And then I thought, hormones? Maybe...but it is more than that. I then really hurt my knee, and I am getting an MRI, and I haven't been very mobile, and I thought, maybe that put me in a funk mood, but then, I realized it wasn't that either.

It wasn't those things because I am looking forward, not backwards. Like I said, nothing is amiss. I am just feeling like I don't fit in anywhere. 





But you might be asking, "Where is this 'anywhere' she keeps talking about?" By "anywhere" I mean anywhere that is out there in the world. I know I must not be the only one who has felt this way at one time or another. I know there are times we may feel melancholy for the "good ole days" and feel like we don't fit in. Or maybe we don't feel like we fit in sometimes because technology has taken over and we just miss having front porches where REAL people actually walked across the street and sat down and spoke face to face...those  moments I get and understand, and I think we all have those moments of not feeling like we fit in and feel disconnected with the world.

But those are not the feelings I am describing when I tell you that these past months I feel like a square peg not fitting in a round hole; nor am I interested in the hole itself. 







The feeling I am talking about when I say I am square peg that doesn't fit in a round hole has taken me quite a few months to finally pinpoint it, but I think I got it. What I finally realized is that the "hole" that I am no longer interested in, nor fitting in, is the supposed urgency of it all...

...there seems to be (to me at least) a relentless urgent energy "out there" to be fresh, to be new, to be "it" and to just be, be, be....and everything is just so urgent. All the time. And I have no interest in this constant urgency. 

Am I crazy? Or does anyone else feel this negative, urgent energy?






We, as a culture, talk all the time about slowing down, but in reality, we never do - ever. And in our arena (creative arena...crafts, design, art, cooking, writing, photography, sewing, ....) it seems that there is always, always something going on that someone (everyone!) must be a part of (to get our name out there) and to get our product/idea/name known. 

Trust me, I totally get it, understand it, done, know it, and am not blind to the reality of the business. And there is nothing wrong with that at all; I will still continue to involve myself in  projects or events that I find interesting or want to fit into my schedule that I enjoy. 

But I guess where I don't fit in (nor want to) is this ridiculous sense of urgency of constantly wanting/needing/hoping/looking/digging for the next whatever. It just doesn't fit with who I am at this season in my life. What I have learned with time is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching for the shiny stuff (or in my case...the distressed stuff... :-)




But it just seems to me that while reaching out for the shiny stuff, there is all this constant supposed urgency to get more, do more, be more, have more, no matter what! It seems to be "out there" all the time and I find it draining, while it used to energize me as it does so many other people - hence the square peg and round hole. I feel this urgency is somehow so different now than it was several years ago on a different level. It has a draining, pushy vibe to me...





For a long time, I used to think that maybe I was just burnt out from it all. In fact, I had several people tell me this, and I began to believe them. But I knew better. I knew the difference between tired and burnt out. But I wasn't tired either. I was happy...but just not interested in fitting in anymore and I was definitely not burnt out. Then I thought maybe it was my age. But then last summer I worked long and hard hours on the book in the heat, and I was so passionate about it, I knew I still had the energy and excitement that I did 15 years ago, so it isn't an age thing...

So what was going on? I pondered for months.

I am not one to accept not knowing what is going on and not one to sit around without answers. I very much lack patience. That is probably my worst character flaw, I think. I think God is really working on that flaw these past months. I sorta feel sorry for Him...I am a tough case.






So if you stuck with me this far, then I am guessing you either are going through something similar, or, you are just curious to what I finally am going to end up saying....me too. I am curious how this post will end as well.

Well, the title of this post is: Urgent Serenity

Serenity means: The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

And that right there, folks, is where my living is incongruent with what I am feeling is "out there." I have no interest in the moment in being a part of all the urgency of doing, being, reporting, and becoming whatever the next best latest and greatest whatever "out there" is dictating, proclaiming, or exclaiming "it" to be. 






The title of this post is an oxymoron.  My life these past months, I believe, has been one as well. I believe, after much pondering, I have been urgently seeking serenity in my life.

Now, aint that a kick in the butt?

Urgently seeking serenity?  That is like planning spontaneity. 


So, why am I sharing this? Well, for a couple of reasons. First, I like you. No, actually, I really love you (a lot) and I figured that if I am feeling this stuff, then maybe someone out there is too and they won't feel so alone and may actually be okay with being a square peg right now as well. 

Also, not wanting to "play ball" with the group is okay too. Whatever or whomever that group may be, they can go hang on their own for a while. You can go do your thing and feel really good about it. Who cares what is supposedly so urgent "out there" that you supposedly must do to keep up so you will fit in...you may want to slow down and think if you really are still interested in fitting in with that group in the first place...you decide, not them.




Secondly, I am sharing because during my months of wondering what was going on inside my peabrain, I did discover several neat things along the way.

Like I said in the beginning, nothing is wrong in my life. In fact, things are very good. I just felt out of sorts, as I tell my barber husband, when I don't have the words. "Out of sorts" to me is when things are okay in life, but you don't sleep well. 

Well, on my rapid road to serenity, (that is hilarious) I rediscovered my love for cooking from scratch and discovered some new things about living very simply. Yes, I did happen to document some of these things that I will share later.

I discovered ways with my barber husband in which we are making a new journey in how we live and we are loving it and I will share those as well as time goes on. It is nothing new, but new to us and that is what makes it exciting. I also realized that there are some things I never shared with you that I do in everyday life that a friend pointed out to me. She was shocked that I never once posted about these things. It just never occurred to me you would even care, but she insisted, so I might post those things as well.





So in the meantime, if you find yourself not as interested in things or needing to be involved as much as you once were in a group of friends, activity, or a community group....don't just automatically brush it off as you no longer "fitting in" or don't just think that you are just burnt out.

No, maybe your mindset is seeking a little serenity from all of the supposed urgency of what you now decided is really not so important after all. Maybe it is time to really pick and choose how your precious time is spent. It is a tough economy, might as well cut back on your time spent and budget it well. :-)

It is so very easy to allow our time to be dictated by what we thought was so urgent, when in reality, we thought our need was to fit in some group.  

I am finding that my needs are changing and I am excited to share with you over time my new adventures. My hope for you is that you find peace and harmony as your needs are met as you see fit.


From my house to your house,



Signature

67 comments:

Tracie~MyPetiteMaison said...

I look forward to hearing of your new adventures, Elizabeth. I've been a long time believer if we don't follow our heart, we will wish we did sooner as life passes by so fast... soon it will be gone.

Love that you're talking about the fact that one does not need to follow the crowd. Great wishes for your new adventures, whatever they may be.
~Tracie

Richard Cottrell said...

Well little girl this is a real thinker. I am having all kinds of trouble being motivated and not caring about anything, except Sissy Dog. I would probably not get out of bed some days if it wasn't for her. I blame it on my life, it is not good right now. I need to change it, but, I am having trouble figuring that out. I guess it will come along someday, in the mean time I don't seem to fit anywhere, any how any way! Richard from My Old Historic House.

Anne said...

Go where you heart takes you....what makes you truly happy.I look forward to reading what new journey God has in store for you.
Blessings,
Anne

Cathy Penton said...

Hey beautiful friend an absolutely gorgeous post as always... Just BEING sounds amazing to me and not over complicating life, that is my philosophy...Loving you from the other side of the world c xoxo

Elizabeth Maxson said...

My special Richard,

I'm going to your site to visit you, as I do with all my visitors, but just wanted to say that no matter what you do or don't figure out about your life, know this for sure: you will always have me as your friend and I am only a phone call away...and Sissy is one very special little dog to have you as her daddy :-))

Love
Elizabeth

summersundays-jw said...

Wonderful post! Serenity & peace are always my goal....believe it or not, age has helped but sometimes it still gets out of whack. I'll be watching to see if you figure it out. As always, love your photos! Jan

Claudia said...

Hi Elizabeth,

This post really struck a chord within me. I believe I understand how you feel. I think the world consists of such much technology, so much 'stuff' and that the need to acquire more, have the latest thing has taken over. I've also really noticed it in blogland. Who's earning the most money from their blog? Who has the coolest makeover post? Who has the latest 'in' thing? There is a level of competition out there that makes me profoundly tired. I have no wish to complete at that level. I have no wish to expend all the effort needed to be the 'first' all of the time. It's exhausting. I'm trying to earn money from my blog, but I cannot and will not become someone other than who I truly am. I have to be me - someone who decorates with what she has on hand, tries to save money, tells funny stories, and sometimes shares a broken heart.

Sometimes I just feel plain tired of it all and need to break away for a bit.

Anyway, I don't even know if this made sense, but I love your honesty, as always. I admire your integrity and your know your heart is in the right place.

xo
Claudia

Debra @ Common Ground said...

I hear you, E, and I am sort of in the same boat. I've always been more of a "loner", and not so much a "joiner". I think alot of this is pure "maturity". and being comfortable following where God is leading. Right now my health is taking priority, something I've known I need to deal with for ages, just put it off.
Always interested in what you're doing, even if it is just "being"!

Gail said...

Elizabeth,
I love this post on so many levels.
#1- I always tell my 11yo dd to "do her own thing", don't worry about what the crowd is doing (it's usually something dopey anyway, right?)
#2-We all feel this way at times, like we need to "remove" ourselves from the melee (this is coming from a Mom of an 11yo who goes to a school with very competitive parents...don't get me started!)
#3-Being true to yourself and your feelings of contentment are tantamount to feeling peaceful.
#4-Keeping up with the Jones' is just so 80's
#5-Like you, I just don't care what everyone else is doing in their frenzied lives, nor do I care to hear about it.....they'll tell you how BUSY they are like it's a badge of honor to be so busy, and woe to their poor children!
Enough ranting from me, this was a really nice post and hit home for me...can you tell?

Linda at French Hollow said...

Thank you, Elizabeth, for sharing these thoughts. I often feel the exact same way. Some days I feel like perhaps I will find an answer and other days I wonder if there really is a question. Its disconcering, but not painful, and I'm actually relieved to find someone else with the same feelings.

Blessings, Linda

Laraine said...

I know so well how you feel. After having breast cancer and closing my store I decided to take my shop online.
I've been unwinding slowly and reading blogs and trying to do the best with the website and have a great profile to bring in customers. Now though I'm feeling the urgency is overwhelming and I'm the one putting the pressure on so I've decided to let what will be will be and enjoy what I do.

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Hi Jan,

I can't find your blog, so I hope you return and see that I appreciate you visiting me all these years. Thanks for stopping by - I always enjoy seeing your photo and smile :-)

Big hug
Elizabeth

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Laraine,

So glad you stopped by. I enjoy your online shop...and so glad you are finding a way to enjoy yourself as well. I know too well about putting the pressure on myself. I am glad you found a way for relief...the world is hard enough without us adding to it ourselves! :-))

Big hug
Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth,
Your comments hit so close to home I kept looking at the post to see if it was you or me who had written this. There is project after project, daily up keep, staying on the cutting edge, dealing with age, living with the little quirks that come up and having to do all that while trying to get your whits about you. Each one is okay to deal with and some are downright enjoyable, but put together has made me a little more square than round. I am in the midst of trying to find my purpose in life...there have been some drastic changes that make this necessary. But I am trying to find that purpose that I know is right out there...and I have to dig through all the other things before I give myself the time to just be at peace and let His plan come to me. Then I realized, the other stuff, no matter how urgent or expected had to come later. I had to take some time each day to find my way, to just listen and it would come. I still have a long way to go but I do know where you are coming from. I've rambled too much now.

Take your time to just be, love what you love, enjoy what you do and be whatever peg you want to be...or don't be a peg at all...it's far overrated.

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Cathy,

My lovely Aussie friend - as always, I hear your accent when I read your comment. Loving you too and I have to say - your latest photo with your beautiful daughter is a real joy to me.

Big hug
Elizabeth :-)

Abby's Paperie Garden said...

I feel as if you wrote this especially for me. Every word, every sentence is exactly what I have felt for some time and knowing that someone as amazing as you could feel the same is comforting...thank you so much.

Abby

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Anonymous,

You said it so well, and thank you for sharing. :-))

Big hug
Elizabeth

BettyJean @ ShabbyTeaParty said...

Elizabeth, it sounds to me as though you've just gone through a growth and maturing period. No longer being interested in or dictated by others or the expectations of others can be a good thing. It's good to slow down, take a deep breath and reevaluate once in a while. Be good to yourself and be happy as yourself. It's so exciting that you have new projects underway. Congratulations and best of luck in your new ventures. I always love your posted photos, by the way...you make some rather ordinary pieces look so important and beautiful. Warm Hugs,

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Hi Betty Jean

Just about to click off for the night and your comment pops up. :-)

I like your take on "growth and maturity." Sounds SOOO much better (and wiser) than just "getting old." :-)

Thanks for visiting and your wisdom...I appreciate you stopping by and hope you are having a start to a great weekend.

Big hug
Elizabeth

terri smith said...

As always, you have put into words what is often in my heart. And yes, it's true.....you can't necessarily put your finger on it, but rather just feel the disconnection of "self" and "purpose". Sometimes we need to jump off the treadmill of our life-no need to "keep up", but just kick back, find joy in simplicity and just do what makes us happy "in the moment". I think women, (especially active, creative, driven ones) hesitate to slow down or "just BE" for fear of not living up to the expectations of others and the high expectations that we place on ourselves. We need to give ourselves permission to do NOTHING and feel really good about it. It's not lack of motivation, I think we just don't stop long enough, often enough, to make sure we're where we want to be. I'm not too sure that any of this makes sense, but thank you for making me stop, reflect, and share....I think I feel better already-still a little disconnected, but heading in the right direction. I may do NOTHING tomorrow, and like it!

Kate said...

Elizabeth you are always a refereshing blessing and lovely dose of real. I always leave your blog with inspiration and a true sense of your beauty. What a gift you are. May your newness bless you each and everyday.

xoxo
Kate

A Cottage Muse said...

I enjoyed reading your thoughts very much. I feel I get caught up in the whirlwind you described sometimes and find it disappointing. Why do I do that to myself? Thank you for this post, I think I will save it as a reminder to myself.
Happy Weekend to you!

Recycled Rita said...

Elizabeth,
You posted about me! I swear!
I have been in the same state for more than a year and am finally feeling comfortable with it, maybe because I have come to the same conclusion you have.
I live in Calif. it is a very fast paced, more-more-more place to live. The problem is, I have slowed down and am enjoying the little things more..
It has effected me in my work life mostly, so....I started a little vintage business with the hopes of leaving my job eventually and even though it makes things more busy, I am finding that I am happier and that happiness pulls me thru the craziness....
I have always been different, but it is so hard to go somewhere that you HAVE to behave in a certain way and you don't believe in the same things...I did not feel like I was honoring myself.
I am glad you are working towards an understanding, me too...it takes time but we will get there and be better for it!
Patience and Serenity to you! hugs! karen....

Anonymous said...

The story of my life!!! I've always felt the way you feel. I've loved my professional job but it's not who I AM. For years I went to all the seminars and workshops and listened to people as they made such a big deal out of what we do. I would sit there and think of all the other things I'd rather be doing. I now have a little side business for the fun of it and to make some extra cash. That TOO is political haha. I've just decided that ANYTHING can become very competive. So I go my way in my little world without the drama. I blame that more, more,more feeling on the so called reality shows. I never watched them but I notice the people that do kind of thrive on dysfunction.

Well that's my thoughts.

Kathy

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Hi Everyone,

These are all very good points and discussions. I have read all the comments. Like Terri said, I think we don't slow down enough to stop and really think about if what we are doing is what we want to do, or what is expected. Sometimes, I think, we are doing what we enjoy and love, but it is this sudden sense of urgency of it all...which takes away the real pleasure.

And like Rita says, while we all want to get along with others (I mean, who doesn't right?) we still want to honor ourselves....

And Kathy summed it up by pointing out that perhaps all these reality shows have something to do with it - I think so - that and maybe we are truly in such an "instant world" that I just fall prey to "instantly" wanting serenity! :-)

And then got frustrated because I felt this outside pull of urgency and I couldn't just play along? And yet, was still happy, but the "world" was telling me I shouldn't be so happy by hanging back and not joining the band wagon because I will be left behind?
But not interested in it to begin with?

Just thinking out loud.

Big hug
Elizabeth :-)

la petite perle said...

lovely! a bless for the eyes :)
i wish you a wonderful day :)

Helen Lewis said...

Elizabeth,
St. Benedict said, "Listen, my children, with the ear of your heart."
It sounds to me as I read this lovely post that you have been doing some very careful listening. I am right with you in every aspect of what you describe here. I look forward to reading more about where your listening is taking you these days. Please do share...
Blessings to you for your transparency and the inspiration of your gorgeous images,
Helen

Tina @ TinyBear Studio said...

Oh - I love this post Elizabeth. I can so relate and you said it so well. I´m always so thouched by your posts and love visiting over here at your place. Thank you so much for sharing. will keep following along

Susan McShannon-Monteith said...

Most people believe they have to be a part of something, or belong to something or constantly engaged in something... never realizing that just plain living everyday and enjoying what you're doing and who you're doing it with is what matters.
Indulge in all that cooking from scratch with that wonderful barber husband of yours and enjoy each day your way...
Faith, love and a little homecookin' will sustain you more than you realize.
Enjoy the journey.
Susan x

Lee said...

I think we've all had these phases, or maybe it's just I seem to drift in an out of one... I think it's part of the journey, oto realize it's OK and normal to go 90 mnph, then slow to 1 mph for awhile. It's a lull, a time for reflection, a time to veer of course- and maybe not come back!! Some of mine is age realted, I just turned 45, some is related to our move 2 years ago, some is.... hmmm. Not sure, And that's OK.

Rosemary@villabarnes said...

You've pretty much nailed what has been pressing on me lately. I'm happy, but distracted by chaos. This morning I woke up with the decision to focus this week, and shut out the background noise. It's been a while since I dropped by your blog, but I was compelled to this morning. I'm glad I did. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to seeing where your road leads.

Ronda said...

I totally get your post, have felt that way in the past not wanting to be part of the "I'm so busy" group. Luckily I figured out that I can slow my life down and find serenity in living a simpler life, more time being who I am, less time doing, doing, doing more and yet still doing the things I love without urgency. Reading the book Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindberg when I turned 50 really helped me figure out how to live a simpler life. I read it once or twice a year now. I always thought I was just weird, glad to know there are others out there with kindred spirits. Wondered where you were, glad to get a new post from you, thanks for sharing.
Ronda

Tina said...

Such a great post. Excellent. I am coming out of that forest you write so eloquently about. I feel as if I'm about to round the last corner, break into the sunlight, find that elusive serene joy waiting for me. I send you peace, and love and hugs to pack along on your own journey and look forward to hearing more about the scenery on the way!

primitive spirit said...

that was really very insightful, i thought. each year that goes by i find myself thinking about how i used to ride my bike or i used to take more time for myself to read or do things without a goal in mind. and i find that i work harder thinking that i am somehow getting ahead. what a strange concept! am i racing to the finish line, i.e.: the grave? so i appreciate your thoughts. makes me reconsider some things i have taken on lately. karen

Cindy Logan said...

Elizabeth, I think it is an age thing but not a "my body is getting old thing", it is age as in wisdom and having lived life and learned a few things along the way. Learning what is most important to focus your energy on, for you, not what others expect of you.
I am looking forward to your posts that we wouldn't expect.
Cindy Logan

Charmaine said...

I think many women feel the same way. We are just tired of always doing, doing, doing, all the time, every day, because it's what we're supposed to do to meet someone else's expectations. I recently discovered it's perfectly fine to stop doing for everyone else and just do for myself and my own family as I see fit. This feels good and very freeing. I'm much more relaxed than ever before and because of that, I'm happier :) Thank you for sharing with us Elizabeth. You're in good company with your loyal followers!

Carol Spinski said...

Dear Sweet E~

I made a conscious decision a few years ago to lead an authentic life and only do what feels right for me. That means saying "Yes" to myself without the fear of "Will they still like me" and "Will they still remember me"~ Always follow your heart:)

(((Hugs))) Carol

Linda Wolf said...

Elizabeth,

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. As a fellow creative, I totally hear you and it appears that others have as well. I think you nailed it when you said, "Maybe it is time to really pick and choose how your precious time is spent."

By a certain age, I believe we've allowed so many things both mental and physical, large and small, to enter into our lives. Many of these things may no longer serve us, yet we still cling to them for reasons we can no longer identify. More continues to present itself to us. We become clouded and it drains our energy. When we are feeling out of sorts, it's truly is time to ask ourselves questions, take a personal inventory and choose what we want to continue to spend our time on. Sounds like you're in the process of doing just that.

Lately, I've been stepping back and asking myself, "How does this (fill in the black) serve me?" and "What if I just let (blank)" go?" If I do let something go (or choose not to follow it in the first place), it gives me such a sense of release. Serenity, Clarity (new mantra) and focus follow.

I'm so with you and so glad to have found this post. Thank you so much for putting your thoughts and feelings out into the universe. I know you will emerge an even stronger and more amazing person for it.

Much Love & Peace,

Linda

Kim Goodwin said...

Oh Elizabeth you are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly with all of us that follow your blog. I am about your same age and I am very much in the same mindset- can't find that word either to describe it. But I get it ... and moreover I get you . Journey on sweet sister - God is working in your life so strongly right now . All the unknowns will become clearer to you . Everything is as it should be. You are perfect - Just BE. Sending you much love

girl on a bicycle said...

Hi Elizabeth,
I am much older than you and because of that one fact-I think I can say-I have been throughwhat you have described -several times,actually.It is a kind of soul-searching, something all souls do from time to time. I get the "urgency "part, too...and I really believe that nuch of that has to do with the technological times we live in. We love our toys(cell phones, computers, etc) but the energy they put out is harmful to us physiologically as well as psychically.Combatting these negative forces(or energy) can be challenging. Cooking from scratch, with healthy ingredients is a great start. Walking, bicycling, etc. is also beneficial, of course. Perhaps the most important thing I have learned in all of my own periods in the quest for urgent serenity is this: To thine own self be true and be here now.

Curtains in My Tree said...

You kept my attention through the entire read.(as usual) I was sure this was leading up to a divorce or even worst cancer
thank God you were just venting

I am older than you and have gone through this heavy wondering where is my life going thing more than once. you are on time and love you , love your post always a good read

Love your mannequins

Mary Beth Hunt said...

I have reached a place in my life that I am enjoying what I've built! I'm enjoying my NEST. My children. My husband. My grandchild. I have left all my clubs, groups, boards and meetings behind.

People say to me, "I never see you." or "What have you been doing?"

I say "Nothing."

And I'm so happy to say that. I think realizing you like yourself and where you are is FINE!

It. Is. FINE! :)

Mary Beth.......your stalker friend from TCCEvent.

Burlap Luxe said...

Hi Elizabeth, such amazing photos full of the right kind of passion, nothing amiss.

You my friend are not meant to fit in, you and your talent is meant to stand out.

You gently grace the blog world with messages that soulfully touch us with meaning, and thought.

Gods plan for you is so much bigger than mans junk! I look forward to all that is laid in your path knowing that you share with us the best part of what inspires your journey.

lots of love and prayers to you my friend.

Fondly,
xoxo
Dore

MJ said...

Elizabeth you know how much I love you! I don't know how you do it...everytime I read your words, whether in post or our emails...it always hits home with me. You know I have always mentioned this to you and you have guided me on this journey.

Even last week you gave me words of encouragement and a great business tip. The last month opening the shop has been overwhelming and I have felt that I don't want to do what everyone else is doing...I dont want an all white shop. I dont want a primitive shop. I want an EVERYTHING shop...a me shop to show what I like and I can create.

You are truly amazing and I was thinking this the whole time Im scrolling down and looking at the beautiful dress forms and your soothing words. I also have no patience so Im glad you discovered what didn't fit and now you have made peace with it and are living your life. Can't wait till you share the rest.

Love to you always my friend...

MJ
Lucky 7 Design

Leslie said...

Elisabeth,
I loved your post. It is so hard but so important to sit with the "not knowing", as we are in a tough economy and we are so socialized and rewarded for doing and being everything for everyone, all of the time. So we look at our "not knowing" as an illness at first! At first pathologize our "not knowing" and "not doing". Thank you for your reminding me to just be, to not know, and to do so with faith.

Anne Lorys - Fiona and Twig said...

Hey girl,
Well, you know how I feel about all of this, from all our e-mails and texts and phone conversations!
I feel like you crawled right into my head and stole my thoughts. No wonder I call you my sista from another mother. ;-)

I love what our friend Carol said above. That's sort of where am, too. Just wanting to be true to myself, and not wear myself out trying to fit in with people or cliques where I realy don't belong, anyway.

There will ALWAYS be a place for your square pegged self in my life, dear friend.

Love you to pieces,
Another Square Peg

Julie said...

rah. "contentment" ~ authentically satisfied with the now. still seeking excellence in all we do, but not obsessing about it all...just a mindset that drives our actions and navigates the issues in our hearts. The urgency you speak of - to me - is simply a byproduct that rises up from the use of the web, the media, the instant access everyone has to everything. more is more is more. look and see look and see look and see... some more. "Comparison" judging my here and now with that of others around me. No one is alike. That can bring about the Square Peg thinking it must fit in a Round Hole.

NOT GOOD. It's basically the same principle as "the PURSUIT of happiness"...right? If happiness must be pursued, then you will never be happy while you are seeking because it must be found. If we have to look for it in "external"...and it is not already in the "internal"...then all of us will never find it. I hear you. the urgency of it all....it's a lie. I'm glad you are "getting it"...and so we all should ponder the number of empty feelings that come attached to the overflowing feelings of doing being doing being doing being...yes. to be in the days of resting - reclining even... in contentment. enough is enough. In the twilight years, what will we look back on and receive the happiest memories from??? thanks for sharing a GREAT post. Pleasing GOD (in my life personally) is the hub from which all pursuits, works, visions, hopes and yes, contentments should be "the spokes" driving the wheels of our days. a hug as you find your center. :-)

Burlap Luxe said...

Elizabeth, if ever I had a soul sista!...it would be you :)

Thank you so very for your beautiful words gracing my site leaving your comment that so encourages all that I do through him, our Lord.

God is so good to have placed me in your path, knowing all that I am confronted with is all made good through him, and best of all our visits that he has made possible via blog, email, and encouragement that may await us when most needed. (Via U.S Post)

You are a friend to adore.

Someday we will be with him and he will make sure we are creating side by side, :)

So many well deserved blessings to you my friend.
xoxo
Dore

Laine Barley said...

I'm right there with ya~! I had just posted on my blog about creating what God pushes through us so it won't go "uncreated" and then decided to read your blog. wa-lah~! I think you live it ~! I've followed you for several years and am always inspired by both your honest writing and your projects. How brave of you to tell it like it is. I think you're precious sweet woman~!.. You'll come out better for the journey and the honesty of where you are.

Laine Barley said...

I promise I'm not a stalker, but had to respond to the quote you left on my blog. The artist is Howard Ikemoto and I have it on a chalk board in my studio. The almost 300 students I enjoy teaching also love that quote. The very best to you

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

Hi Elizabeth,
I'm on a "break" from blogging and decided to catch up on blogs I haven't visited in awhile. So here I am reading your thoughts and like so many of the others- you spoke to my heart and brought to attention what I already knew but couldn't quite put into words. I have no interest in rushed chaotic living. I don't care about fitting into any mold or niche or group. I'm at a time in my life that I choose calm. I've removed chaos from my life in many forms and it feels wonderful to finally embrace the knowledge that I had the choice all along.
Just being and enjoying the stillness and the beauty of my life with the people and furry friends I chose. I've experienced some very painful events in the last ten years. And I'm okay. Happy with who and where I am in my life. I can't thank you enough for sharing from your heart and I so look forward to to hearing about your journey.
xxx, Tina

diana said...

The Woman who follows the crowd,
will usually go no further than the crowd.
The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in Places, No one has ever been before. ♥
~ Albert Einstein....
Thinking of you and want you to know I love this post.

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth,
I have been a fan for several years, but was not on the net for a couple years ans have just been following you again for a few months.
There has been a notable difference in your posts and I can tell you have been going to new depths spiritually. In my own life when I have pushed deeper into God (and I mean Jesus too :)), I have found a disconnect with all the 'fitting in'. Perhaps that is what is happening with you as well. It has always been uncomfortable at first, but then His identity begins to become recognizable and fits like a glove. I can still fight all the urgency stuff, and have to step back from it all over again. I guess it's just part of the passionate personality!
Thank you for always sharing your honest heart. I have never felt that you tried to be something other than your self here, and I appreciate that. You are truly a class act!

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Hello Wise Reader Friends!

Just a note here to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading your comments. I still say that not only do I have the most creative readers, but also the wisest.

I have sent my post to several friends to read...not for what I wrote, because of all the wonderful wisdom in these great comments.

Thanks so much for sharing what is on your heart for it is your comments that help me (and others) not only to grow, but to know that others around us not only feel the same/gone through it, but are also sane :-)

As always, I am so honored that so many take time out of their precious day to write and I am very grateful for that.

Big hugs to you all
Elizabeth

kerrie of sea cottage said...

I think I have felt this way my entire life, but that is what makes me 'me'. It took years of maturing to just be 'me'...and I entered a journey of seeking that 'promised rest' 12 yrs ago and am now just trying to abide in it. And somedays having to return to it. I understand and do feel that urgency out there in the world, it is exhausting and I just don't let it in. I have been reading writings of old, of monks, for a year now and am learning much about the quiet life. It has helped me alot.

I would like to mention this post on my blog with a link if you don't mind. You put it all into words so well as you share your thoughts outloud(so to speak). Thank you. I appreciate it. You encourage me to keep calm and carry on. (hug) ox

amy of four corners design said...

I hear ya sister! its always about doing more...I have to remind myself that I only need to listen to my soul...and do what works for me...look forward to hearing more about your changes...or whatever you want to share...thanks!

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Yes Kerrie (or anyone else for that matter), I am always honored whenever anyone finds anything I have to say worth repeating. :-) I just ask you let me know when it is posted so I can have an extra smile that day...

Thank you so much for starting my day out with a smile and even more wisdom and friendship.

Big hugs to you all
Love
Elizabeth :-)

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

What a beautiful post. I really never think about 'fitting in' anywhere. Strange huh? I just enjoy what God has given me and enjoy my life. Oh yes, there are the ups and downs but I've decided that, that is life and it's how I deal with them is what is important. Someone once told me to 'enjoy every day of your life, no matter what' and I do. I love you and your blog. You make us think and for that I am thankful that I have found you through blogging. You are perfect just the way you are....being true to yourself:)
~Debra xxx
Capers of the vintage vixens

Margo@Legacy of a Single Girl said...

Hi sweet friend! Hoping you are doing well today! Just thinking of you and sending you cyber hugs!

Margo

Anonymous said...

Hi Elizabeth!

Great post, and as always, you expressed it so beautifully.

I have this problem. Sometimes I want to live this Zen existence and then later I am driven and wanting to pursue big ideas. This happens with my shoe closet as well. Some days I want a single pair of shoes to wear everyday and get rid of the rest. And then I want a different pair for every outfit! I am complex and confused. If only Zappo’s would leave me alone.

Today, I am somewhere in-between! I read a blog called Zen Habits that I go to for inspiration in simple living.

xo
your friend, Kim

Rene Foust said...

Thanks for sharing! I too was feeling much the same way and found comfort and hope in your words.

Alabaster Rose Designs said...

Oh I so needed this post!!~
I have been feeling like this for a while. It is so distressing to feel like you have to hustle, and do, and create, and be better to keep up with everyone else.
It gets a bit depressing.
I am happy you are taking time for yourself re-exploring the things that you love.
Best wishes to you and thank you for the beautiful and heartfelt post.
Sincerely,
Melinda
P.S. Your photos of the vintage dress forms took my breath away! I have a bit of an addiction to them:)

Lisa said...

well this one made me cry, because you hit it on the rusty nail. And thank you for putting this into words that my own mind couldn't.

my thanks
Lisa

Lisa said...

I had to come back...since reading and commenting and leaving to do my daily dos, I felt a release of something, maybe just reading this post gave me permission to just be.
This is a good post, Elizabeth.

xxxxs,
Lisa.

Auntie Bliss said...

I DO have these feelings and have chalked some of them up to being fifty. I have a phrase I've adopted when I'm frustrated and feeling pressured to do something I often can't do anything about... here goes:
"I'm not going to worry my pretty little head over it"
My mother and husband can say it with me now :) It means two things!
One, don't burden me with petty things or things that are beyond my assistance. Two, I'm letting this problem go...it's out of my jurisdiction.
and remember it is God that I work for...thankfully! :)
Suddenly...the wisdom of fifty outweighs the ..what were we talking about???

Monica said...

Hi Elizabeth,
I was reading your old posts, and bumped into this one (Urgent Serenity).
Have you ever thought of this? :)
http://the-white-bench.blogspot.it/2012/07/introvert-you-are-perfect-way-you-are.html
Hope you're doing well with your knee!
xo

Elizabeth Maxson said...

Thank you Monica! I went and read your post and I loved it and commented. As I said, I feel I am a private extrovert. Simply because I choose to keep some things private, does not mean something is wrong. I think we live in a society in which tell-all is almost expected, even between friends...boundaries are very thin. Without boundaries, it is easy then, to start following what others (or society) dictates because we don't know what we want (or allow) for ourselves, so we allow others to dictate to us.

I heard from a sermon a very good saying: In any given situation.... When you know who you are, then you know what to do. That is pretty darn simple. :-)

Big hugs
Elizabeth

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