I'm Benched

Too much going on and I'm down for the count.

It's been one of those months....

This is not the post I planned on writing at all...and I'm probably not going to sound like my usual self, as I am still all medicated up, and I am sure I will just be blunt, and to the point, and I must beat the blurs, as I will explain in a moment.

I will say that November began abruptly with me in the ER with a very painful kidney stone. And just a week later I had knee surgery (scheduled). All was well with the knee for two days, then back into the ER I went with a very painful blood clot and I was admitted into the hospital for a couple of days to adjust for blood thinners and shots I had to administer myself. Once out of the hospital, I was back in the ER again, this time for stroke symptoms. The whole bit...my left side feeling heavy, shortness of breath, dizzy, weakness, and never mind I have a blood clot in me...but it turned out (thank God) to be an anxiety attack.

So back home I go, feeling very grateful. Nothing changes you so quickly, as it does while you lie on the table getting a CT scan, and feeling very weak, and wondering if your life is about to change drastically, and why did is this happening? It is very scary having three ER techs running all around you sticking things on you, reading lab slips, taking blood, doing EKG, and mumbling a lot of stuff and all I know is that I can't hold my cell phone in my left hand without it shaking. I ended up feeling stupid  when I found out it was "only an anxiety attack." But then I realized, "stupid"? why in the world would I want it to be anything but that? The doctor reassured me that with me having a kidney stone, then knee surgery, then a blood clot, and so on, that anxiety attack wasn't surprising. 

Then the two days later I am back in the ER again, yes again, for the most painful event in my life. I was standing near my sofa, and I barely bent over, and many blood vessels, underneath my kneecap burst open and since I was now on blood thinners due to the blood clot, it was one very, very painful mess in the ER for about six hours before I got any medical relief. I would gladly take 20 kidney stones at one time, before I ever go through that again. 

I need a drink...

So I was admitted into the hospital again, this time for six friggin days, and knocked out with meds for three days to control the horrific pain. I finally got home the week of Thanksgiving, and I am currently bedridden. My living room looks like a hospital ward with my wheelchair, potty, crutches, brace, walker, blood thinner shots, tons of meds, bandages...actually, more like a MASH unit. 

I am currently exhausted, and recovering and will begin PT this coming week. I can walk on crutches, and can do it well, but I am supposed to keep my leg up until I get my PT going. It is very surprising to me how tired I get though. This is frustrating as I am a mover, doer, going, and this is a horrible time of the year to not be able to cook, decorate, or shop. I am ready to blast through PT...we'll see :)

I'm going to have to cut this short, as the meds have a side affect of having me see "the blurs" and then double after only a short time of reading or writing, but I am told this will wear off soon. (I hope so...I love to read...but seeing things twice, isn't much fun actually.)

It's funny how life will throw you a real curve ball at times, you know? Just sorta sucks when you aren't wearing a mitt to catch it because boy does it stings when it gets you. This time last year, my posts were so very different. 

But that's okay.

I think the time to really start worrying is when life quits throwing those curve balls at you. Because when that happens, that means you aren't in the game anymore. And being in the game is what life is all about. 

I am just benched for now. Just for now.  :-)

From my house to your house,